novimnet

03:41 pm: May you all get smooth with naked women attached to cups


Getting excited about High End Baller Loki made me excited to take more pictures with the dolls I already have.

Tags: dolls, wolverine

06:16 pm: bon weekend!
Memorial day weekend snuck right up on me! What are you all doing to celebrate? I refuse to deal with traffic or large crowds so I am probably going to just stick to drinking heavily in places I can walk home from. I'm trying to weasel my way out of Top Shelf deliveries since I know sales will suck anyway.

My camera arrived, it's defective and needs to be exchanged. In other news, should I buy this $200 doll?



I can totally afford it but my main problem is with becoming one of the $200 doll people. Please advise.

Tags: boys, bullshit, drinking

04:17 pm: bored at work!
So we go shopping:



retarded light up bow headband, $2.39 with shipping, eBay.

I bought a Groupon for a 90-minute cruise around Boston harbor and the Charles river for my mom's birthday.

Found many pairs of questionable shoes I'm interested in at urbanog:


Mason bootie, $26.50


Dollhouse Julz oxford, $24.70


Cambridge oxford, $19.70


Dynamo Lucite flat, $33.50

On my ebay watch list:


heart-shaped carabiner, $1.78

Indian takeout + Game of Thrones tonight with M. Chris yayyyy

Tags: shopping

09:53 am: Sycamore street
It was such a Gorgeous Perfect Weekend! On Saturday I went to the WBNA neighborhood-wide yardsale. That's when everybody has a yardsale and the WBNA gives you a map so you can walk around and hit them all. The armory district is so nice. When I'm middleaged and successful I hope to live there again. Although maybe by that time the hipsters will have edged out the crackheads and gentrified Olneyville.



Is this terrible Photobooth picture doing it for you? I got:

- a big jar
- Peaches, Toxic Holocaust, and Mastodon cds
- hula dude and tikki glasses, I think these are for Patni
- plastic lady with a surfboard, probably for my car
- animal skull
- animal fur thing
- lantern
- two pairs of tights
- Wilton student kit- I already have all this stuff because I took the class, but you can never have enough pastry bags, icing tips and spatulas
- not pictured, stereoscope cards

After that I had M. Chris, Aimee, and her friend David over for some grillin. Chris clipped the lock on my patio furniture because my keys are in the river. I made burgers and sausages with all the fixins and then did this to a pork tenderloin. I ended up using less mustard and more ketchup which turned out to be a wise choice. CONDIMENT INTIUITION. I made sliders with coleslaw like in the picture, I used this recipe but without the sour cream and found Chris eating it by itself by giant spoonfuls.

On Sunday I got into this weird K-hole of unproductiveness and ended up watching way too much Breaking Bad, now I end all my sentences with "...bitch!" like Jesse. OMG who called Hank to warn him about Tuco's cousins?!?!? Don't tell me. I baked all day and then took Chris on a picnic for dinner. I made quinoa salad, watermelon with mint, and coconut-lime cupcakes. Light, summery foods are not my forte but I'm figuring shit out.

We played scrabble and watched the sun fade over Dexter park. I stopped playing scrabble for awhile because whenever I played with Misogynist Teen Dad Chris he would go on about how great the Eyesores keyboard player Orion was at it. Actually, he never shut up about her. He's dating her now and was probably dating her while I was dating him. She took him to lunch sometimes, which irritated me because apart from the fact that I was never invited, I felt that it enabled his laziness and willful unemployment. She threw a chair at Alec K. Redfearn once. It's comforting to know that when I was 24 I was only the second most insane person in Providence.

Tags: boys, bullshit, food, hoes, shopping

06:47 pm: shipwrecked
The giant yardsale was great! Salem Aimee found Jem dolls, Providence Aimee found some furs, I found some turquoise pots and I think Patni got tart pans.

We couldn't have asked for more perfect weather. We did a quick grocery run and then went took the canoe out for the first ride of the season, ate smoked salmon on the observation deck at Great Meadows, drank vanilla vodka with orange soda, and took lots of pictures. Then on the way back Patni suddenly leaned waaaaay over for some reason and capsized the canoe... something that's never happened in my lifetime of canoe trips, and something I was unfortunately very unprepared for. Everyone was ok, but my phone, camera, and keys to my house, car, steering wheel lock, work, and patio furniture cable lock ended up at the bottom of the Concord river. Two of us swam to collect the items that were floating downstream, two of us swam the boat to shore. We tipped the water out and watched some tampons float away. At least the vodka was safe.

I paddled back to shore in my underwear. The phones that hadn't sunk were locked in my car. I called AAA from a nearby gas station but for some reason they couldn't make me a new key. My mom came and picked us up. If something bad happens, my mom's house where you want to be. There's always booze and an abundance of prescription drugs and first aid supplies, the lights are low and soothing, and there are plenty of cozy hoodies you can wear while your clothes are in the dryer, all of which say Ogunquit Beach on them. If we're talking full-scale environmental disaster, or zombies, she's prepared for that too. We made burgers on the grill, Salem Aimee went home, everybody else slept over.

We'd had to leave the canoe behind because the ratchet straps were in my car. Patni and I drove out in the morning and collected it using a spare strap I'd found in the basement. I cooked breakfast for Patni and Providence Aimee and dropped them off at South Station. I'd hoped not to have to have AAA come out and open my car because you only get to call them so many times in a year, but the dealership insisted on seeing the registration before they'd make me a new key, which was in the glove compartment. The new key cost $5. The Concord fire department came and clipped the Club lock off my steering wheel. I went to Walmart and bought a new one. I don't fuck around. I asked Chris to copy my housekeys for me and leave them with my boss.

I made my mom shrimp salad on belgian endive, and jambalaya, as requested. I also got her marzipan hearts from Godiva and a baseball bat from a flea market (also requested, for zombie defense purposes). We drank Prosecco and then I slept for 14 hours.

I got a new phone today, I was due for an upgrade anyway so it was free. It is much nicer than my tragic Walmart flip phone, although so far attempts to text my boyfriend a picture of my boobs have failed. Text me at 508 517 1008 with your name if you want me to add your number!

Salem Aimee picked out a replacement camera for me, the violence-proof Canon D10. Since I've been using my personal camera for work for a year and a half, Green Penguin has agreed to buy it for me.



I'm going to buy about 10 of these foam keychain floats:



and then also this 3-pack of dry bags to share with my friends:



So there you go. Shit happens. I'm still kind of pissed, but most of my stuff has been replaced, and I guess at this point it's really nothing more than a learning experience and a funny story.

Tags: bullshit, canoeing, ladyscouts

07:40 pm: serpent secrets


- Express hoodie from church thrift store
- Howl shirt from a show
- Evil cat necklace from a craft fair
- Dollhouse skirt from the Jamaica Plain Goodwill
- Nero Giardini boots from Savers



Are you excited about the Giant Yardsale tomorrow? Me too.

Tags: kitties, outfits

02:17 pm: the last time you have hands
A couple weeks ago I saw GWAR (for reals this time!) with Bob in New Hampshire. We went up early with the intention of hanging out at the beach but it was so windy and cold that after a fried seafood platter and a couple beers and a few minutes at the arcade, we just ended up sitting in the car playing Scrabble.

Kylesa


Ghoul


Ghoul + Killbot


It was an amazing show and well worth the $26 ticket. I love a band that dresses up. They played with Ghoul again, plus Kylesa (who I've been really into lately), Legacy of Disorder, and one other band whose name I forget but looked like a bunch of fifteen year olds. The venue was Wally's Pub in Hampton Beach, a much more appropriate choice for bands that shower their audiences with fake blood than the Wilbur Theater. I didn't even get kicked out!







Corey Smoot memorial album



I attempted to get GWAR to restyle my purse for me by holding it up every time they sprayed the fake blood, but only succeeded in dying the stitching pink. It would have been a good souvenir. Here's a picture of Bob I took in a spooky woodland cemetery the next day:



I've been really sick for a week and a half, and then I got pinkeye, which, let me tell you, is really interfering with my hoe makeup. So I've been spending some quality time with my jammies and Breaking Bad. Also is anybody else watching Game of Thrones? Who is your favorite character? I kind of like the giant knight lady and also the Khaleesi, because she has the best costumes and duh, fireproof mother of dragons.



Here's an hour-long Motorhead show from the year I was born to keep you company at work today:



Ok stupid outfit picture time:



- thrift store sweater I added ribbon and a cameo pin to
- Forever 21 skirt from the thrift store across the street from my pharmacy
- Minnetonkas

I miss my eyelinerrrrrrr

Tags: metal, outfits, shows

04:16 pm: pretty in pink
Fashion tips for Pinkeye sufferers:

- Skip the bronzer and play up your skin's natural sickly pallor to highlight those pretty pink eyes. Albino chic!
- under no circumstances should you stop wearing eye makeup. In fact, if your eyes are irritated, don't even bother washing it off at night.
- the yellow crud that's coming out of your eyes makes a great balancing cream. Rub it on your T-zone.
- your red, leaky eyes might make it look like you've been crying. Run with the whole "vulnerable" look by adding some faux bruises with eyeshadow. Or get one of your friends to punch you in the face! Shiny accessories, such as an actual shiner, are so in right now.
- try wearing a flirty eye patch over your good eye!

Tags: bullshit

05:58 pm: Domestic Improvements, Fortress of Solitude-style
Things are shaping up nicely around these parts. Millbilly Chris got a job at a warehouse. I got a tv and was shocked to discover the antenna I bought at a yardsale for $2 actually did what I wanted it to do, which is get the music video station and the Simpsons. There is no picture of that because you all know what a tv looks like, but I also got a couch, to facilitate looking at the tv:



It is actually more of a loveseat, but that is about all that will fit up my stairs and into my apartment. Millbilly Chris was a good sport about it. Outside the window you can see a big Rubbermaid I planted peas in.



New tea kettle from ebay. Lilacs stinkin up the kitchen.



My room: still sparse. Poster from M. Chris's show, postcards from Nefertiti. Trinkets from exboyfriends past and a small piece of my Sarah Ritt collection.

Babygirl still prefers to spend her days hiding in her log, but at night she comes out and does her King Kong act on the My Little Pony birthday castle thingie:



Providence Aimee had a birthday, I made her a little cake and a rat bone Y necklace and then we went to Iggy's. It was freezing! It's not really beach weather yet.



Tags: apartment, birthday, snake

01:55 pm: Jesus died for your hors d'oeuvres
The Satanic Zombie Jesus Easter party was fun and crazy! Patni won the costume contest as Slutty Girl Jesus, Salem Aimee came dressed as Murderface, Bob threw a drink at Providence Aimee and I was appalled and didn't know what to do, we had an egg hunt, we dyed eggs, and I got so drunk I couldn't speak.

Menu:

- tater tots with vegan aioli
- mushroom and caramelized onion mini quiches (adapted from Emeril's recipe)
- roasted lamb bites on toothpicks with this recipe for the pomegranate molasses glaze
- ham + asparagus in puff pastry (inspired by this recipe)
- rice paper rolls with tofu, red pepper, mint, mango, rice noodles and carrot
- vegan chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream and toasted coconut "nests"
- lemon-ginger champagne cocktails with Domaine De Canton


( glitter crucifixion )

Tags: boys, dolls, drinking, easter, ladyscouts, metal, party